A Very Grimleal Audition
by DarkPaladin000
Summary: Trying to rule over the entire world by yourself is tough- even if you're the Fell Dragon. So, Grima decides that he needs some help and decides to hold interviews to decide who's the best candidate. Only thing is the interviewees are not exactly what he had been expecting.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, a lot of you had read my earlier fanfic _A Very Grimleal Birthday Party_ , and it received an overall positive response, so here's another fanfic. For those of you who don't know, Grima is male and Morgan is a girl.**

The world has no shortage of people who aspire to take over it.

However, the one thing that such people seem to forget is how much _work_ doing so would be. It isn't easy trying to take care of everyone, after all.

This was a lesson that the Fell Dragon was taking in. People were constantly rebelling against him, and he couldn't understand why they fought so hard against being exterminated. Not to mention some of his Risen had gone on strike.

Grima thought that he should probably go on strike too and negotiate for better working hours and such, but the problem with being a self-proclaimed dictator bent on genocide was that people would be relieved, rather than inconvenienced at his absence.

You'd think that he'd be able to pawn off at least some of his work for Morgan to do, but she tended to create more problems than she solved.

And so, Grima decided that the only solution possible was to recruit someone to help him. He then got the not-so brilliant idea to ask Morgan to take care of it.

Morgan decided to post up an advertisement which went like this:

 _Wanted: A person willing to become Director of Evil Stuff to help in annihilation of all life on earth. No experience of qualifications required. Salary includes everything you can loot. Health benefits include immortality as an eldritch monster. Interested candidates are requested to send their resumes to Sunshine Palace._

Grima fond several things wrong with the ad, beginning with the fact that it invited people to Sunshine Palace. That was the place they were using as HQ, but Grima hadn't got around to renaming it, and he had to admit that it looked like Morgan had inherited his quality at being bad at naming things, because 'Director of Evil Stuff' was something that he would have probably thought of.

But yet, the applications did arrive, though almost none of them were from their dimension, and Morgan filtered the candidates and invited them for interviews.

And so, the day of the interviews arrived, and Grima was in the main hall of Sunshine Palace, with several Risen guards to give the place a dark and evil atmosphere, and a glass of red Kool-Aid (no one except Morgan and his chef knew it was Kool-Aid, everyone else thought it was blood) in front of him. Morgan had also come for some reason, and while Grima really didn't care for her advice, she had brought double chocolate-chip cookies which she only made when she was excited, so he decided it was okay to let her be there.

The first candidate was a teenage boy with blonde hair.

"So," Morgan said, reading from a resume. "Your name is Justin Bieber, correct?"

The boy nodded.

"So," Grima said, "tell me about yourself."

"Well, you see," Justin stared, "when I was thirteen, I had my first love-"

"Uh, I know I told you to tell me about yourself, but I meant something related to this job," Grima said. He then frowned. "You really don't strike me as the evil type though. Why did you apply for this job?"

"Well, I saw the ad, and as I tell all my fans, I thought 'never say never' and thought I'd give it a go," Justin said.

"Really?" Grima asked. "You do realize we want to destroy the world, right? Are you really okay with that?"

"Sure," Justin said. "It's alright even if we destroy the world, because that just means that I can make another world, my world, version 2.0."

Grima frowned and whispered to Morgan. "Why did you even give him an interview?"

"It's alright Dad," Morgan said. "I read up on him and it turns out that he's infected millions of people with some disease called 'Bieber Fever.' I thought that was pretty evil."

"Well then," Grima said, turning to Justin. "Please tell me about this pestilence known as 'Bieber Fever' that you've managed to spread. What are the symptoms? Do people wander the streets in agony before dying? Are they unable to smell? Do they slowly creep into insanity?"

"Nope," Justin said. "They just love my songs. Like this one."

And then it happened.

He began singing.

"Gah!" Grima screamed and kicked Justin out. He turned around to see something horrible: his Risen were humming the song Justin had been playing.

"Oh no!" Grima shouted. "Morgan, our guards have gotten Bieber Fever! We have to kill them before they infect the others!"

Once that was taken care of, Grima called in the new applicant. It was a rather pale looking boy who introduced himself as Edward Cullen.

"So," Grima said. "Tell me about yourself."

"Well, you see, I'm an Edward Cullen who comes from a fanfiction world written by a Team Jacob fangirl, so I lost Bella and have now decided to become evil. I saw this ad in the newspaper and decided to give it a shot," the guy said.

Grima turned to Morgan. "Why did _he_ get an interview?"

"He says he's a vampire," Morgan said.

That perked up Grima's interest. "So, you're telling me that you can drink blood?"

"Yes," Edward said. That made Grima instantly jealous, being an evil dragon _he_ was supposed to be the one who drank rivers of blood, but the thing was that it was so bitter he could never drink it and had to resort to drinking cherry-flavored Kool-Aid instead and pretending it was blood. "But, I only drink the blood of animals, because I'm a vegetarian vampire."

Morgan frowned."You're vegetarian... and still kill animals? I don't think you understand what the word 'vegetarian' means."

Edward frowned this time. "As for my skills, I'll have you know that I can read minds... but I'm not getting anything from you two."

"My wards protect us," Grima said, though he had to note that the mind-reading thing was pretty nice to have. "Just one thing, how are you going to be able to function if I send you out into the sun?"

"It's alright," Edward said. "I don't die when I go into the sun, I just sparkle."

Grima was sure that it was a joke, but then a ray of sunlight came in, and he did sparkle. Edward was kicked out after that.

"The next guy is someone named Bob," Morgan said.

"Last name?" Grima asked.

"Nothing... it just says Bob," Morgan said.

"It better not be Bob the Builder again," Grima said.

It wasn't, it was just a guy who was wearing a Burger King uniform.

"So, tell me about yourself," Grima said, though he was already thinking of rejecting the guy.

"I'm Bob," the guy said. "I work at Burger King."

"And why are you still in uniform?" Grima asked.

"Oh, I have to work all the shifts I can get," Bob said. "I took out way too much student loans, partied all my college life, and now I have no chance whatsoever of finding a real job so I'm stuck with this and my loans which I have to pay off."

Grima turned to Morgan again. "How did this one get an interview?"

"Well, Daddy, it says here that he has an MBA from Harvard Business School, and a PhD from Oxford, and also that he's been a Navy SEAL," Morgan said.

"Umm, actually I lied about all of that so I could get the interview," Bob said. "I actually dropped out after eight years of trying to get an undergraduate degree."

Grima almost face-palmed. "And why do you want to destroy the world?"

Bob shrugged his shoulders. "See, the thing is that I've realized that the only hope of me ever paying off my loans is if I win the lottery, the Zombie Apocalypse happens, or the world ends. Like seriously, I don't know who owns these student loan companies, but whoever do are like the most evil in the world."

"Uh, well," Grima said, "you see, Bob, there's this thing called 'sounding desperate' that normal interviewees try to avoid, and the thing is that you're practically radiating it, plus it seems that I own one of the companies that has lent money to you."

With that, Bob had been kicked out too.

Next, a small pink ball rolled in, and unfurled itself to show that it was a Jigglypuff, and it had a marker in its hand.

Grima turned to Morgan, exasperated. "Now just tell me why you agreed to give an interview to this... thing!"

"I didn't," Morgan said.

"Jiggly jiggly jiggly," Jigglypuff said.

"Oh," Grima said.

"What's it saying?" Morgan asked.

"It said that it wanted to go to American Idol but ended up here instead by mistake," Grima said.

"Wait, you can understand Pokemon speech?" Morgan asked.

"Of course," Grima said. "Did you know that Giratina is actually my younger brother?"

Morgan's eyes widened in amazement. "It all makes sense now..." She then thought about it further. "No wait, it doesn't make any sense at all."

Jigglypuff had decided to start singing though, and the thing was that Grima hated it and chucked a pen at Jigglypuff, who understandably got angry.

"Oh no," Grima said. "It appears I've angered you. I'm an ancient evil dragon, and clearly you scare me so much..." he said and laughed.

Jigglypuff puffed its cheeks and made a beeline for the Fell Dragon. Grima fired a blast at it, but then to his surprise, found that it did nothing.

"Umm, Daddy," Morgan said, "that thing's a Fairy type. It's immune to Dragon-type attacks."

"What?" Grima said. Jigglypuff jumped on top of him and began using Double Slap on the Fell Dragon. "Guards!" Grima shouted, but then he realized he had killed them all, and had forgotten to get more in, thinking that he didn't need protection. How wrong he was.

Morgan tried helping, but she ended up missing and hurting Grima instead of Jigglypuff.

And so, Jigglypuff Double Slapped Grima into submission, drew on his face, and to add insult to injury, he took Grima's plate of double chocolate-chip cookies. He then took off for American Idol where the judges reacted to his music pretty much the same way that Grima had.

"I'll go get a healer," Morgan said. And so, the auditions were halted temporarily.

 **A/N: And that ends it... for now. Thanks for reading, and reviews are always appreciated. Also, I thought that I'd try something new this time, and I'd like to take inputs on who Grima should interview next. You can write in the review or PM me.**

 **Also, if you didn't know, Justin Bieber is the pop idol, Edward is from a book called Twilight, and Jigglypuff is a Pokemon. I tried picking stuff I thought most people would have at least heard of, and Bob is just... Bob really. If you or someone you know resembles Bob, the resemblance is unintended.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: First of all, thank you for the overwhelming response I got to the first chapter. I didn't know that it would be so popular! Also, I'm a bit sorry to say this, but a lot of you gave me tons of ideas and I couldn't really put all of them here in this one chapter, at least not yet, also because I don't know a lot of the things you guys requested and it might take some time for me to think up their roles. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Grima was given some first-aid, another batch of cookies was made, and then the audition continued with some new guards being added.

"Who's the next candidate?" he asked.

"There are two of them… they're called Master Hand and Crazy Hand," Morgan said.

Just then, the room went dark, and there were dual sounds of laughter from somewhere. Then, two hands came out from somewhere, with the right one moving smoothly and the left hand moving erratically.

They then began making strange motions.

"Oh! Oh! This is sign language!" Morgan said. "I recognize it!"

Truth was though, Morgan had just looked it up on the Internet one day and quit after a week, and so she didn't really know that much.

"So, tell me about yourself," Grima said.

The two of them began making some weird hand motions.

"They're saying… that they're brothers… and were born from an egg laid by a kangaroo. Then, they were separated at birth and one of them was raised by a werewolf and the other by a vampire." Morgan said.

The Hands had _actually_ said that it was none of Grima's business where they came from, but Morgan had misinterpreted their meaning, so Grima just scratched his head, confused. Surely kangaroos didn't lay eggs?

"Okay, why should I hire you?" Grima asked.

The Hands then made some more movements.

"They're asking, 'Actually, we were going to ask why we should work for _you_ ,'" Morgan said, this time getting the sign language correct.

Grima snorted. On the one hand he didn't like people who appeared needy during job interviews, but these guys just sounded _way_ too overconfident for him.

"Well, I'm an evil dragon who has pretty much taken over all the world already," Grima said. "Anything else?"

The Hands then made some other motions.

"They're saying that they'll join you if you can beat them in a game of rock-paper-scissors," Morgan said.

Grima held up his fist as the two hands started shaking their fists together, and said, "Rock-paper-scissors, and, shoot!"

Grima made a rock, while Crazy Hand made scissors, and Master Hand made paper.

It was then that Grima realized that he had been punk'd.

Crazy Hand then launched himself (or herself, we can't go around assuming stuff after all) at Grima, but he deflected it easily and said, "Next!"

The next guy to come was someone who looked like he was dressed up like a Christmas Elf, only he was a lot larger and way fatter.

"Who is this guy?" Grima asked as he turned to Morgan.

"I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past," the guy said.

It was then that Grima realized that the guy was telling the truth. Because, when he looked into the guy's eyes, he saw Christmas from the past.

More specifically, he saw _the_ Christmas. The Christmas where Morgan had decided to celebrate by dressing up the Risen as Christmas elves, and then Grima had killed Santa Claus… and…. and…

To be honest, it had gone _so_ horribly wrong that Grima started hyperventilating at the mere thought of it.

"That's it!" Grima shouted. "Get out! Get out!"

"You're not even going to ask why I'm here?" the Ghost of Christmas Past asked. "You're not going to wonder why I've suddenly turned evil because I've been neglected and underpaid and-"

"I don't care!" Grim shouted. "Just get out of my sight!"

The Ghost of Christmas Past looked at the Fell Dragon rebelliously and said, "In that case, I'm taking a cookie."

"No!" Grima shouted but it was too late. The Ghost of Christmas Past had taken a cookie and vanished. He then turned to Morgan. "Just why did you give him an interview?"

"But Daddy," Morgan said. "He had the word 'Christmas' in his name. How do you say no to Christmas?"

"No," Grima said pretty sternly. "Next!"

The next person to enter was a guy with messy brown hair and dressed in a white lab coat.

"Do tell us about yourself," Grima said after rubbing his forehead.

"Oh, my name is Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz," Dr. Doofenshmirtz said. "Well, if I had to introduce myself, I'd guess I'd have to start at the very beginning. You see, I don't think you could say that I ever had a very bright childhood. I guess you could say that my parents never really cared for me, and they were always putting my elder brother Roger ahead of me and-"

"Ugh," Grima groaned. "Can you please get the specifics, you know, which are relevant to this job?"

"Oh, I see," Dr. Doofenshmirtz said. "Well, I've had along experience in being evil, and I've made a lot of inventions to take over the entire Tri-State area."

Grima leaned over to Morgan and whispered, "What's the Tri-State area?"

Morgan shuffled through some papers. "My sources say that it is about as big as Plegia, and much more densely populated."

Grima frowned. "Aren't your 'sources' a group of squirrels you trained by looking up videos on the Internet?"

"Yes," Morgan said.

Grima turned to Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "So, were you eventually successful in these endeavors to take over this Tri-State area?"

"Oh, yes, eventually," Dr. Doofenshmirtz said.

"So you technically already have an area as big as Plegia under your control?" Grima asked, now much more interested in hiring the doctor.

"Uh, well, no not really," Dr. Doofenshmirtz said. "I did control it, but gave it up later."

"Why?" Grima asked.

"Well, you know, thing is that I have a teenage daughter named Vanessa, and she got this internship, and me being the whole Tri-State Governor thing was getting in the way, so long story short I left it," Dr. Doofenshmirtz said. "I mean, really, you don't know how hard it is being a self-proclaimed dictator and trying to raise a teenage daughter at the same time."

"Actually, I do," Grima said as he glanced over to Morgan, who was no longer paying attention to the interview and was now looking up photos of kittens on the Internet on her phone. "So, why do you want to join me then?"

"Well, you know, Vanessa's all grown up now, and she's sort of moved along, and I've been left not really doing anything but trying to sleep fourteen hours a day and teaching yoga classes at my community health center, but then I saw this ad and was like, why not go back to the good ol' days, you know?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz said.

"Well," Grima said, "I have to say that based on your caliber, I've decided to give you this-"

Grima didn't get further as something blue just shot up next to him.

"A platypus?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz wondered. The platypus put on a hat. "Perry the Platypus?"

Perry then handed over a series of photos to Grima, photos that showed Dr. Doofenshmirtz in his childhood days, as well as some of those embarrassing Internet videos about him.

"Okay," Grima said. "After seeing these things I've decided that I can't hire you."

"Oh well," Dr. Doofenshmirtz said, now slightly depressed. He glanced at his watch and said, "Well, if I want to get fourteen hours of sleep today, I better start right now." He yawned, and said, "Curse you Perry the Platypus." He walked out and also added, "Cure you Grima the Fell Dragon."

Perry the Platypus, for that matter, was also gone now.

"What's a platypus?" Morgan asked.

"They don't do much," Grima said. "And they're the only mammals that lay eggs."

"You mean like kangaroos?"

"No, kangaroos do not lay eggs, and I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Just what have you been learning in your biology classes?"

"Uh, you burnt down our school while we were in the middle of the school year."

"Oh, so this is all my fault now?" Grima asked sarcastically.

"Uh, actually it pretty much is," Morgan answered. Grima rolled his eyes.

"Call in the next guy," Grima said. He then amended, "Or girl. You know, because gender equality and all that other refined bovine waste."

"If you're really for gender equality, why doesn't this job come with maternity leave?" Morgan quipped. "Isn't that kind of sexist?"

"I'm not sexist," Grima said. "I pay my male and my female workers the same: nothing. See, there's no wage gap when you're part of the Grimleal."

As it turned out, the next guy was as a matter of fact, a guy, and decided to make quite an entrance into the place by swinging into it, and after sticking to the roof, jumping down into the chair.

The guy took off the mask and said, "Hello everyone. I'm Peter Parker, you friendly neighborhood Spiderman."

Grima turned to Morgan and whispered. "Why did you give this guy an interview?"

"He has a lot of excellent powers and stuff," Morgan whispered back.

"Are you kidding me! The guy is going around dressing up like a giant red bug, and calls himself Spiderman!" Grima tried to whisper back.

"What would he call himself then?" Morgan asked.

"I don't know, maybe something that didn't say, 'I have a bug fetish and also suffer from low self-esteem,'" Grima replied.

"You guys do realize I can hear everything you're saying, right?" Peter asked.

Grima smoothed out his coat and turned to Peter. "So, do tell me a bit about yourself."

"You see, it all started back in this school trip when I was bitten by a radioactive spider," Peter said. "Then, my uncle was killed and I became a superhero and decided to use my powers of sticking to surface, my heightened reflexes, etc. And by the way, spiders aren't actually bugs, they're classified as arachnid-"

"Alright, alright," Grima said, interrupting him. "Why then do you want to join us? I thought that you're actually, well, you know, supposed to be a hero and stuff."

"Oh it is kind of a long story," Peter said. "At the beginning it started off with the news, especially Jameson really tearing me down and stuff, but I sort of kind of sucked it up, but then I wanted to join the Avengers. So then, S.H.I.E.L.D. told me I could join them but then made me do a bunch of stuff first to 'prove my worthiness' like asking me to clean the Helicarrier using only my toothbrush, making me clean up all the litter in central park, putting on puppet shows for kids, etc. you know. But then when the time came for me to join the Avengers, I was apparently told that I needed my parent's signatures to join."

"What's wrong in that?" Morgan asked.

"My parents died a long time ago," Peter said. "And it turns out that they never really wanted to let me in and put those stuff of me doing stuff on the Internet under titles like 'Spiderman Cleans the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier Using His Toothbrush' or 'Scrawny Kid Screams Like A Girl And Wets His Pants' and stuff."

"That sounds awful," Morgan said. "So then you decided to become a villain."

"Yes, but that comes way later," Peter said. "I first decided to make my own new team along with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

"What happened then?" Grima asked.

"They rejected me because I wasn't a turtle," Peter said. "And so, I then decided that I needed to seek help and enlightenment, so I went on a journey to the top of Mount Everest where there was a monk who was said to know the answers to everything in the universe. After several weeks of painful and difficult travelling, I finally managed to reach the man's shrine. I then asked him, 'What is the meaning of life?'"

"What did he say?" Grima asked.

"Uh, well, he sort of said something, but the thing was that he only spoke Tibetan, and it was at that very moment when my journey was complete that I realized that I had left my Tibetan-to-English dictionary back at home, and so the entire thing was for nothing. I did however realize though that the universe enjoyed messing with me, so I was going to go around and mess with the universe, and so decided to become evil."

Grima nodded. "Well, Mr. Parker, I have to say that of all the candidates that we've interviewed, you are certainly are the most promising. So, I just want to say, welcome-"

"I have just one question," Peter said. "What is that?"

He was pointing to Grima's emblem that was on a huge banner. "That's my symbol of power," Grima replied.

"It looks like a butterfly," Peter replied. "I mean, as a symbol of an evil overlord, it looks kind of girlie, don't you think?"

There was silence. Dead silence, as Morgan and the guards knew that Peter had just made the worst mistake of his life. The guards and Morgan began to inch away from Grima, who had a curiously blank expression on his face for an instant.

Suddenly, Peter felt his Spider-senses tingling and he jumped away from the chair as it was obliterated to pieces.

"That is the sacred mark of the Fell Dragon!" Grima shouted. "HOW DARE YOU DISPRESPECT IT?"

Peter sensibly ran out of the room. Grima sighed and began rubbing his forehead, where several veins appeared to have burst. "I just don't get it. Why must this be so hard?"

"It's alright Daddy," Morgan said. "As long as we believe in each other, right?"

"I don't believe in you," Grima said.

"But I believe in you twice as much," Morgan replied with conviction.

"Morgan, if I don't believe in you at all, and you believe in me twice as much, that also means that you don't believe in me at all," Grima replied.

Their conversation, however, was interrupted as a huge, green _thing_ wearing purple pants burst into the room shouting, "Where is bug man? Hulk want bug man!"

Grima stood up. "If you're looking for that idiot, I won't stop you, but who are you to barge in here and ask me for something? And for that matter, you've gotten dirt all over the floor with your filthy feet."

The Hulk's eyes narrowed and he growled at Grima. Grima puffed out his chest and said, "Listen, I am a god you dull creature. And I will not be bullied by-"

Grima didn't get any further as the Hulk smashed him like he did to Loki at the end of the first _Avengers_ movie.

Once he was done with that, the Hulk ate all the cookies kept on the desk and marched out, muttering, "Puny god."

Morgan and the guards walked up to the crater that Grima was in. "Should I call a medic, Daddy?"

Grima was staring at the ceiling with wide eyes, and an expression he usually wore while remembering _the_ Christmas. He nodded slowly.

 **A/N: And that ends this chapter. Thanks for reading all you guys, and I'm kind of sorry I can't put down all of your choices as I don't know some of them and I need to think about what to write with the others, but I enjoyed listening to them and if you have any more ideas I'm open to them as well. Also, sorry that it took a bit of time to update, I was busy and all.**

 **Thanks for reviewing, and if you liked it, please remember to leave a review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry to say that I completely forgot that this fanfic existed. It only needed one more chapter, but boy did I take my time.**

Needless to say, Grima managed to recover from his injuries very quickly given his high regenerative powers. Physically of course, that is. How long would it take for him to recover psychologically?

Well, suffice it to say that Grima was almost done. Like seriously, he was practically done. If he wasn't the Fell Dragon, he would've just retreated into his bedroom and started crying right about now.

Nothing was going as per plan. Just how hard was it to find good help these days?

"Aww, I'm sure it'll be okay, daddy," Morgan said and patted his shoulder.

"Yeah…" Grima said weakly. "Okay, did you manage to find some more people? Preferably sane ones?"

"Uh, I'm not so sure that a sane person would want this job really," Morgan said. "I mean given what we're doing…"

"You know very well what I'm talking about," Grima said. "Find me someone who I can work with!"

"Yeah, that's kind of hard though," Morgan said.

Grima sighed as Morgan called in the next candidate. "Who is it this time…?"

Morgan shuffled through her papers. "Well… this guy is called General Hux…"

"A general huh?" Grima asked. "Good, someone with military experience."

A tall man wearing a black outfit walked in.

"He doesn't seem very smart," Grima whispered to Morgan.

The man did some sort of weird salute before introducing himself. "You see, I am General Hux of the First Order."

"And what is the First Order?" Grima asked.

"An organization that aims to rule the entire galaxy," General Hux remarked.

"And how familiar are you with concepts such as razing cities to the ground?" Grim asked.

"Cities? I have destroyed entire planets without blinking an eye," General Hux said.

"Good, good," Grima thought. But one thing kept nagging him. "Tell me one thing… ah, general, why is it exactly that you want to work with me? Based on this resume here you seem to be doing quite fine in your own organization. Why do you want to jump ship, so to speak?"

"Ah well, you see, everything was going very smoothly initially," General Hux said. "But our leader was this sort of dark religious fanatic called Snoke and then he ended up dead and then his very loudmouthed little apprentice decided to take over… and I just can't stand him. He's a spoiled brat."

"Oh," Grima said.

"But that's not all really- my experience with the First Order has taught me that I'm tired of evil overlords with magical powers who follow some sort of dark religion," General Hux said. "I'm a man of logic and science. I don't need some sort of weird dark sorcery in my life. At least not any more."

"Oh, too bad," Grima said and summoned several Risen guards with a snap of his fingers. "I don't think that we can work together, for obvious reasons then…"

"Who's next?" Grima asked as General Hux left.

"Well, next up is someone called, uh, 'N' like just the letter N," Morgan said.

"What kind of parents name their child a letter?" Grima asked. "Do you think you'd ever make any friends if I'd named you 'M?'"

"Maybe it isn't his actual name," Morgan said. "Like- what if it's a nickname? And Dad, I never made any friends anyway. You kind of killed them all anyway or drove them away."

"Oh really Morgan?" Grima asked. "Just what is that supposed to mean huh? Are you embarrassed to have me as your father? Is that it? Am I not good enough of a parent for you? Don't forget, young lady, that after your mother and I got divorced-"

"You mean you stabbed her in the neck?" Morgan asked.

"Semantics, Morgan," Grima said. He was about to say more when someone with crazy green hair who was probably N walked in.

"Hello there," N said. "I believe you were hiring?"

"Yes," Grima said. "Now, I've read about your work experience… seems well and good enough…now what is that you wish to accomplish by working with the Grimleal?"

"Oh, you see, I have a vision," N said. "A vision where all the people of the world along with Pokemon and animals live in harmony together. Where all of them are safe and-"

Grima's left eye twitched. "What are you rabbling about, boy? This isn't the Girl Scouts! This is an evil organization! Morgan, why did you give him an interview?"

As a fun side note, there was no longer a Girl Scouts organization anywhere in the world. If there was one thing that Grima truly hated, it was door-to-door salespeople of any kind.

"Uh, well, his work with Team Plasma seemed pretty evil," Morgan said.

Grima told N to get lost and then began rubbing his head. "You know what… I'm sorry Morgan. It's just getting so hard trying to be an evil dictator when you have crazy family members… I don't mean you of course, but it's so hard to find good help these days…"

"That's okay papa," Morgan said. "Hey! Maybe the next person will be good? You'll never know until you try…"

"Nah, forget it," Grima said. "I'll just go back to trying to do everything myself… or maybe I can get a hamster to fill the position or something…"

"Aww, but these next few people are interesting," Morgan said. "I'm sure that we have your assistant somewhere in them. The next person is ah, Monika."

"Last name?" Grima asked.

"Nothing," Morgan said. "That's all that's written on here, there's no last name. Just Monika."

"Why has no one, in any of their forms, written their full names?" Grima asked.

Grima was prevented from ranting too much however as a girl, about eighteen walked in.

Grima groaned. Out of the large list of things that he needed that included a vacation, a sports car, and some chocolate pudding with no raisins in it- another teenage girl was not one of them.

"Hi! This is Monika here- and did I here someone say, 'Just Monika?'" Monika asked.

"Okay, so who are you exactly? And what evil things have you done that would make me want to hire you?" Grima asked.

"Oh, well, I don't know if they'd count as 'evil' or anything," Monika said, "but I did kind of cause the deaths of all three of my friends indirectly by manipulating their character files and kind of drove two of them to kill themselves…"

"Now that is dark," Grima said. "Perhaps we can work out some terms then."

"Uh, I am curious though, what exactly does this job involve?" Monika asked.

"Oh that, you know, the usual, burning down cities, torturing civilians, etc., etc.," Grim said.

"Wait- are you bad people?" Monika asked in surprise.

Grima nearly face-palmed and turned angrily towards Morgan. "Why do you give these people interviews? Do they not even know what the job involves?"

"Uh, I'm kind of going to be honest with you here…" Morgan said. "I kind of just gave an interview to everyone who applied. I mean there weren't even that many people interested so yeah, shortlisting them wasn't hard…"

Grima sighed. "But tell me- you think I'm evil? Then what does that make you?" he asked Monika.

"Well, I mean, I don't know if you'd call it 'evil' because they never really existed in the first place," Monika said. "I mean… it's no more 'evil' than killing off a video game character… and I've bet you've done that lots of times… Anyway, I kind of didn't want to be here anyway, but you know, _somebody_ deleted my file and then I just sort of got bored and started wandering around wherever I could go and ended up in this game…hey, come to think of it then, if I want to stop you, all I have to do is delete your file."

"My file?" Grima asked, eyebrows raised. He noticed that Monika seemed to be concentrating, and Grima did notice that there was something wrong with ah, something. He managed to locate it… something called . There was an option to move it to the Recycle Bin… whatever that was. Grima did just that.

Monika then fizzed and crackled out of existence. "Not again! Why does this always happen to-"

"That was weird," Morgan said.

"You're telling me," Grima said. "So who's up next?"

"Someone by the name of 'Jack Spicer,'" Morgan said.

"Oh good," Grima said. "Someone who has an actual last name."

A teenage boy wearing Gothic/Punk Rock Style clothes walked in. "So I heard you're all looking for an Evil Genius around these parts…"

"More like just somebody who is mildly competent," Grima said. "So, tell me about yourself…" He groaned inwardly at having to ask this question so many times.

"Hey? Is that a jug of Kool-Aid?" Jack asked, pointing to the jug on Grima's desk.

"Ah, no, of course not," Grima said. "That is ah, the blood of the innocent that I've drained which I regularly consume. It's the only drink that can quench my thirst."

"Really? 'Cuz it looks just like the cherry-flavored one, though I prefer grape," Jack said.

"No, no, it's definitely real, live, human blood," Grima said. "And on an unrelated note, I don't like grape."

"Yeah, whatever," Jack Spicer said. "So I bet you're wondering why you'd want someone like me with you, huh? Well guess what- I've wanted to rule the world since the second grade. I've dished out lots of evil, uh, stuff. And sadly I've kind of ell out with my last employers… so, yeah, what evil things have you done? Sorry, but I just kinda need to know who I'm working with here…"

"Well, if I were to tell you a long list of my evil deeds than that would take several hours for me to complete," Grima said. "But let me start with the basics. I killed my best friend and then consumed the souls of thousands of people before forming an army of eldritch monsters with which I have already annihilated half of the world."

Jack's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. Grima swore that the guy almost started crying. "I- that's awesome! I don't think even Hannibal or Chase were as cool as you!"

"Right, right, let me confer with my associates for a minute," Grima said. He and Morgan then scooted away from the table and out of earshot of Jack Spicer. "What do you think?"

"I don't know," Morgan said. "Doesn't he seem- kind of immature?"

"Really? That's coming from you?" Grima asked. "That said, he seems to be the best choice as of now. Or at least better than the others. But he's kind of like Bob though in that he seems a bit too desperate for the job."

"Oh, huh," Morgan said. "Well yeah, I guess he'd be alright. Sort of."

"Alright then," Grima said. He then turned to Jack though to see that Jack, during the time that Grima had turned around, had been picking his nose.

Now get this- if there's one thing in life that Grima hated second to door-to-door salespeople, it was people who picked their noses. And then didn't even wash their hands afterwards.

Jack had just done both.

And as such, Jack was rejected, Grima burned the remaining list of people that Morgan had, and said that he was just going to try doing everything himself.

But first, he needed a vacation.

And while he didn't know where he'd be going- he certainly knew where he wouldn't be going- the North Pole.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading. I think it ended a bit weakly, but honestly I can't pull out any more strength to write more. Yes, this is the final chapter, and I hope all of you enjoyed this!**


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